Showing posts with label weirdos. Show all posts
Showing posts with label weirdos. Show all posts

Monday, September 8, 2008

freaks and weirdos on the webbernets



I love how the internet opens up the possibility of making a complete ass of yourself. I mean where else can you say to a person you've just met "you're so incredible hot. my *ahem* is getting hard."? I mean really? Seriously? What happened to common polite conversation? what happened to actually getting to know someone more than one second before you blurt out your kinkiest hopes and dreams. "no, really, I want to see you hanging upside down from a telephone pole. yeah. that's my fantasy. really."

ew. get real weirdos and freaks. The normal person does not like to encounter such things via the internet NOR do they enjoy such encounters in person. and by normal people I am speaking for myself.

My -shorter- list of rules for guys -- online chatting.
1) do not mention that you're thinking of a girl in a perverted way if you just met her 5 seconds ago and she has given you no indication of interest. M'KAY that means you.
2)If she does happen to fain interest. be polite. ask her about herself.
3)if she tells you something personal DO NOT ASK HER about her bedroom activities. My guess is that she still doesn't know you from Adam and she doesn't want to know your size or length or how flexible you are.
4)If she does EXPRESS interest then go from there, but take is easy on the sexy talk. It's only cute if she's instigating it. No, seriously... you know I'm right.

and those are a few NOT so simple rules. Just remember to be cool. Your mother, I hope, taught you some manners and gentlemanly behavior. You'll catch more with honey than you will with vinegar... or some such nonsense.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

overheard at your local library

being that I work at a library, I am sometimes privy to the most amazing conversations and questions.


crazy lady: [to self] stupid retards.
I'm not crazy.
I know.
Weirdos.
I know.
filthy, nasty retards.
They think I'm crazy. I'm not crazy.
I know, I know.

~~ if you don't believe me - have a little listen - crazy lady.

patron1: ooooooo, girlfriend.
p2: No, I am serious.
p1: really?
p2: yeah, like totally.
p1: I'm like WTF.
p2: oh, yeah, I know what you mean. uh huh. for real.

~~ that was the most informative bit of conversation ever. {eyeroll}

daughter: so, what do you want to put on your yahoo personal, dad?
father: tell them that I'm into athletics. chicks like that. ~~ he's in a wheelchair.
daughter: you should say you like long walks on the beach.
father: yeah, go ahead and put that also. Oh, and tell them that I like romantic dinners. ~~ I bet he does as he weighs close to 300-350 pounds.

~~ I was thinking, in disbelief, the entire time "These are the people that you find via internet dating sites?!" Seriously?!